My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
ugly people sure do ruin things
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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