He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
