My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
