She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
