You made me cry and you don't even care
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
