i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
