Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
