I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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