I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
