quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
