I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize