ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
