I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize