How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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