Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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