A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
