remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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