I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I got inside last night via doggy door
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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