Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
