it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
