i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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