I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
