thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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