Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
