That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
