When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
