Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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