So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
