can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
