Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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