Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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