Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
