if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
