Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
