that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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