Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
