hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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