My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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