after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
