Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
