You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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