just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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