If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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