why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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