you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
