to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
