Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize