I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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