you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
