Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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