i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think I won the penis lottery.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
