Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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