I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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