its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
