I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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