You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
