dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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