I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
