can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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