my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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