I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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