I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
