well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think people are normalizing furries
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
