Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The power of my boobs compel you
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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