Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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