i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
