Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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