she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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