my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
this beer tastes like vomit already
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
